You know that feeling you get when you’re on your last day of vacation?
You’re trying to soak up the sun one last time, but you feel restless on the beach because in just a few hours, you’re going to have to head home.
You start thinking of the upcoming week and all the things you have to do back in “reality,” and you have a bit of a bittersweet feeling. You might let out a sigh and think “Ah, well, this has been wonderful, but it’s time to head home.”
That feeling describes how I felt when I got back to Melbourne this time around.
I was away for two months, traveling the west coast of Oz and around Southeast Asia. My plan for my return to Melbourne was to get another casual wine-related job to make some cash before leaving, go on two more trips to see the last of what I wanted to see in Australia, and spend time with friends before I left for good. Most of this has happened, but it didn’t feel as I expected.
When I returned, I realized that I only had eight weeks left, so a job didn’t exactly work out. Who was going to hire me for eight weeks, especially when I wanted to spend two of those traveling?
I had sporadic work and otherwise, I have been seeing friends and trying to enjoy this weird limbo of time here. I also had the chance to go to the last two places that I wanted to see.
My life in Australia was the one I created to escape my former life, and now I am leaving this too. It’s not like leaving home where I know I can always come back to it. Here, if I come back, it will probably just be on a short holiday later in my life, and I might, but I will probably never live here again.
It’s been suggested that I find an Aussie husband so that I can stay. I joked with my roommate more than once about marrying him to keep me in the country, but I’m realizing now that it’s time for me to go.
As much as I love Oz and staying here sounds lovely, the universe (and more importantly, the Australian government), is telling me that it’s time to move on.
It’s good for me. It pushes me to move forward. I need to figure out where I will live next and what I will do, and that means that I’ll get a chance to keep moving, seeing more of the world.
Whether it’s a relationship with a person, a job, or a place, it can be hard to say goodbye. Instead of wishing for everything to stay the same or wanting for the past, remember that it’s a big old world with unlimited possibility and opportunity. Just jump and you’ll eventually be caught by something that will work out for you. At least, that’s what I’m trying to convince myself as I step forward, yet again, into the unknown.
The end of an era means the start of a new journey. So… here we go again!